A rondeau

In too small a room to call a tavern
A man mourns a flame that so briefly burned
So stunning in the day, lit sultry by
The night, fanning flames swallowed with a sigh
Likened to say amidst we all will burn

Enchanted by the dance, heat churns
Within the chair, tumble the ice turn
Turn. God damn, so fallacious when she cried
In too small a room

Falsehoods laced with hope, daft to discern
The two liquid lovers, memories squirm
During a blink doomed by open eyes
Staring at a lifetime’s long diatribe
Marring pictures on the walls, a tavern
In too small a room

The wind blows the door open
Whisked easily from a hand in this cold
Huddle briskly inside, there’s warmth where we head
Brush my feet at the onset, take your coat, have a seat.

Trudged a few blocks, by a window we’ll sit
It almost pains me to stay so still
The cold can envelope such a blushing heat
I feel such a distance from you.

Flakes whirl ‘round my periphery
I’m only lost for a moment, transfixed yet again
You’ve got my attention, don’t worry
I am not forsaken.

Sitting strong, I’ll gaze heavily
At such delicate eyes only a reflection
Can portray, lost in the ice for a moment
I’ll delve deep someday.

A track from ten years ago
Blares through the speakers, shuffle, random
A lyric I don’t need to hear
Puts my lips into motion
Slithers into my psyche
Pumping out a memory
Not so risqué, but it brings a shy smirk
Video captured for forever

Singing along so many years later
Days then surely numbered
I’ll laugh at the innocence, now
Just a word tossed away
That video packed somewhere
Strain to guess we watched it
Maybe once
You’re jaws just locked then in a smile

The cursor blinks at me
With this glorious instrumental
Burgeoning transcendence
In the background, but poking at the front line
Of my struggle

I so want to lay out on this dimmed white screen
What I feel but there is just no way
Right now, it’s been a rougher patch than most
But just a few days over all
Over this existence

I’m sure I can conjure some lyrics
That can get me somewhat close,
But what good does that do you
If you don’t know the tune
I fail just the same

If I say nothing at all
And let the surroundings do the talking
You’re bound to make well of what you say
Glossing over my nods and vapid grace,
Sure sounds lonely

It’s rushed and disjointed
But it’s my words and thoughts alone
I know I’ll wrestle with them both
As I close the program and place the glass
Down, to sleep I’ll sometime get.

Revision 3

This damn dark room, the threat of dust on everything
Even people,
About to take over.
Even the masonry has grown yellow, pre-law cancer-sticking
But that haze hasn’t left, this bar was steeped far too long in it.

Teetering two edges of this stool
My nostrils boil, flare and flutter
As you languidly draw near
Chanel #5, no… some grocery-store bought honeysuckle,
A draft rolls the winds across those very fields of my younger days.

Saddle up alongside, my eyes lost for a long moment
No two, up those legs.
I’ll lean in a little closer with maybe one leg to stand on
Surprised at the semi-inviting slightly open half moon grin
Not a scowl…
You’d never say no, I say.

My lips lunge forward, five maybe six senses enamored
The explosion of tingles tangles rendering me tasteless.
Mouths meet again, a bit of bitter strikes my tongue
A longer lick emits a hint of vanilla, almost machined
Residue I’ll bet from your dolling up.

A pucker of lips and a doleful raised brow
Force me to recenter on a wavering top shelf.
I softly lunge forward, a risk
Settled by bar stool pegs
Pride rightly swallowed.

I’m taken aback; return four legs to the floor
My whole body consumed, entwined
With everything about you,
There may be none finer.

I’ll sit and stare deeply
Into your complexion well-tanned.
I can still feel the heat bred,
The forcefulness followed by subtlety
It’ll be with me for a while.

I can see it now,
You’ll either break me or kill me
At sixty dollars a bottle.

Musty morning moments spent
So fallaciously free
I knew them for a moment
Maybe even two
But I can’t at the present recall their last name.

Darkness falls
Or should I say it doles
A week night spent with comrades,
Weak souls.

Deal them cards with some sure-fire backhand flair
I’ll toss in the best, well… whatever I got
I saw you in the back, and I’ll bet that you saw me.

Stick to my gun, lie when I need
Your eyes have that dead-shot want, hidden greed
Fuck it I’ll call
All in, so most say.
Won’t say I didn’t
And continue to rue the day.

Tom Waits croons so sullen in the background,
There was a time in my retarded youth,
That I hoped I wouldn’t fall in love with you,
But I’m glad that you sat down with this old clown.

If I should wish the world away,

I’d still be asking you to stay.

When all is said and sadly done,

Nostalgia pangs songs gladly sung.

The form is a Ghazal… well a loose semblance

That body, seams fail to contain, tumultuous
lust burning through the dress you wore to senior prom

A life started, stunted, an over-mortgaged home
dreams burning with the dress you wore to senior prom

Joyful idea to many, last wish of hers to
be one burned in the dress you wore to senior prom

Regrets everlasting, fuck, no going back now
I remember that dress you wore to senior prom

Two years old
A burgeoning bundle
Of mess, stutter-stepping
Into matter much harder
Than skull
Always learning…

At twelve
Simply stapled to a desk
Sit tight and listen
Succumb to what is
Told, no life beyond those
Mildewed windows
Learn!

Twenty-two
‘dunno how many dastardly drinks
In, does it matter?
Here on your own volition
Did you pay attention?

Now, thirty-two
And time dwindles about you
Nothing lost
Nothing gained though
There was a time
When what you stumbled upon
Was what was sought
And what was learned
Justly taught.

Dichotomy

People die every day
All that truly matter
Is the proximity in relation
To you
Hell
As long as it isn’t
Do you really give a fuck?

It’s in the quiet
Tender moments
That the dead touch you
Remember.